I hate you but I love you more!

In this scene from the movie La Misma Luna, Carlitos and Enrique obviously have some heated feelings toward each other. In our class my professor Dr. Mack related this scene to John Bolby’s attachment theory, and how when people fight, it is actually (often) attachment-seeking behavior. Seems slightly counter-intuitive right?  That in battling against, one is actually trying to become close. 

Why is that?

So many famous scenes of fantastically heated arguments turning into passionate kisses, right?! (The Notebook, in the rain; Mr. and Mrs. Smith, as they're blowing up their house; who could forget the Single's Ward, in the kitchen) Gosh darn, they’re entertaining! (and I wanted to post more, but some get a little inappropriate, and I don't know how to cut youtube videos) 

So one of the classics, just to get the idea (from Cheers):

or if you're a disney channel fan: 

What is it about passion that brings people together?

A friend of mine is taking a psychology class online. He told me in this lecture, his professor said that if a married couple never fought, there was probably something really wrong. If neither party had enough belief or care in his or her own opinion to disagree, they will wander through life together, but ultimately wander apart. But marriages that fight, and then make up, are actually closer. They care enough about the situation/other person to get emotional, to become unrestrained, and to want to fight for it.

I think this is my theory: If someone doesn’t care, if they are completely apathetic, they won’t take the time/energy to argue with you. So it’s subconsciously comforting to us when we’re throwing around heated words, because WORDS are being thrown around. Not silence.

You might think, “I’ve definitely argued with people when I didn’t care about them” Like group projects, perhaps? Me too. For sure. But even there—both parties have a strong feeling about how things should run. You both care about the project, and because of that—you’re linked together.

In “La Misma Luna,” It seems the more angry and annoyed Enrique gets at this little kid following him around, the more attached the two become. In the end, Enrique sacrifices himself in a big way, so Carlitos can have even the chance to find his mother. What a sweet attachment.